What if you could spend fifteen minutes a day doing something that will bring you closer to and clarify your truth? What if that same practice can help you let go of people-pleasing for good? Enter: stream of consciousness journaling.
If you find it hard to say ‘no’ and find yourself doing things out of obligation, even when they don’t feel aligned, this practice is for you. How can stream of consciousness journaling help? Read on!
When we give beyond our capacity or say ‘yes’ out of compulsion, we end up doing a disservice to ourselves and others.
Stream of consciousness journaling can be your key to breaking the people-pleasing habit. And you don’t have to be a writer to reap the benefits! All you need is a pen, paper and fifteen minutes.
First, This Is Why We Fall Into the People-Pleasing Cycle
People-pleasing can masquerade as a selfless effort to help people. After all, it’s good to help our fellow humans, right? Of course it is! But, when we give beyond our capacity or say ‘yes’ out of compulsion, we end up doing a disservice to ourselves and others.
Our well intentioned actions end up doing more harm than good, and it often leaves us feeling resentful.
It’s human nature to desire connection and want others to like us.
It’s often that desire that drives us to say ‘yes’ to every request, even when we might not actually want to or when we might not have the reserves to follow through. We don’t want anyone to be upset with us or think poorly of us, and that becomes our motivation.
In pursuit of connecting with others, we lose connection with ourselves. We begin serving others in an inauthentic way, lack self-confidence, and find ourselves saying what other people want to hear instead of speaking our truth.
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How Can Stream of Consciousness Journaling Break the People-Pleasing Habit?
The best way to break the cycle is to go inward and reconnect with self. Know that whatever you get from people-pleasing can also be found within.
The ability to say ‘no’ comes from being aware of your own truth and choosing to honor it. In the same way, this is how we are better able to say ‘yes’ to things that truly align.
When we stay connected to ourselves and honor whatever state we are in each day, we can show up and connect with others in an authentic way.
When we stay connected to ourselves, we can show up and connect with others in an authentic way.
Being rooted in your own truth enables you to speak your truth instead of falling into our people-pleasing habit and saying whatever other people want to hear.
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Stream of consciousness journaling is a tool to help you go inward. It can act as a bridge to help you get from people-pleasing to self connection. This type of journaling can help you see where you are each day and to honor that truth.
Stop People-Pleasing With Stream of Consciousness Journaling
It might sound complicated but it’s actually quite simple. All you do is sit down and write out whatever is on your mind. Don’t worry about how it sounds or what it looks like on the page.
No one is going to correct your grammar or punctuation. In fact, no one needs to ever read it at all. This is just for you.
The goal of this style of journaling is to allow whatever is inside, to come out and flow onto the page. Some of what you find might be wandering, rambling thoughts while other times you might end up with something deeply profound.
Stream of consciousness journaling is a bridge to help you get from people-pleasing to self connection.
Each day will be different and you’ll see yourself come alive on the page. You’ll start to quickly identify how you feel or what you think and how your truth shows up as uniquely you.
It can be challenging at first to connect to your true, authentic self and really be honest with yourself if you aren’t in the habit of doing that. With daily practice, though, it will become easier and it will lessen the grip on your people-pleasing habit.
You’ll feel more grounded and confident in making decisions from a more centered place.
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The Takeaway + How to Get Started
You only need three things to get started: a pen, paper and fifteen minutes. You can set a timer and write for fifteen minutes or set a page length and stop when you’ve filled that many pages. You can schedule a time and write at the same time each day or just go with the flow.
The idea is to make it a daily habit but to allow it to unfold in a way that works best for you.
The more you practice this journaling habit, the deeper you’ll be able to connect with self. You’ll feel more confident in your choices, be able to connect with and serve others more authentically, and feel rooted in your truth.
Give stream of consciousness journaling a try and watch the power of people-pleasing lessen it’s grip as you find more strength within.